Issues #020 - #039

#020: Gunman Kills Three

The Issue

Tragedy struck @@NAME@@ today, as a gunman killed three people in a suburban shooting rampage. The community is united in grief, but divided in opinion as to what should be done.

The Debate

1. The strongest voices demand tighter gun controls. "The only way to prevent further atrocities is to take the guns out of the hands of the murderers," says anti-gun campaigner @@RANDOMNAME@@. "There's no justification for them in today's society. We need tighter regulations on who can hold guns, so only our police and military have them."

The Results: guns are banned.

2. "That's not all we need," says radical left-wing activist @@RANDOMNAME@@. "The government should ban all guns outright--even in the police force. This is an opportunity to make @@NAME@@ a totally gun-free state."

The Results: the nation is completely gun-free.

3. "Guns don't kill people, people kill people," says NRA head honcho @@RANDOMNAME@@. "If you outlaw guns, only outlaws will have guns. Is that what we want? Think, people. The answer isn't to ban guns. It's to crack down on those Hollywood movies and computer games that glamorize violence. They're the real criminals."

The Results: movies and computer games are strictly censored for violence

#021: Police Consider "Big Brother" Anti-Crime System

The Issue

The Police department is considering installing surveillance cameras in all major public areas, in an effort to crack down on crime.

The Debate

1. "This is a blatant invasion of the right to privacy!" says libertarian web site operator @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Now I can't even go out in public any more without being watched? And you know this is just the beginning. Today there are cameras in city streets. Tomorrow they're peering through your bedroom window."

The Results: surveillance cameras are banned.

2. "Hey, I've got news for you," says Police media liaison @@RANDOMNAME@@. "When you're out in public, PEOPLE CAN SEE YOU. These cameras will be extremely helpful in reducing the national crime rate. Frankly, I can't see what the fuss is about."

The Results: all major public areas are watched by police surveillance cameras.

3. "This 'slippery slope' argument has got me thinking," says Police Minister @@RANDOMNAME@@. "You know, it would be a lot easier to fight crime if we watched people all the time. Not with cameras, of course. That's clearly an invasion of privacy. But how about a national database of our citizens, coupled with compulsory ID cards and barcoding? It would stop crime dead in its tracks."

The Results: citizens are barcoded to keep track of their movements

#022: Nazi Sympathizers Plan Rally

The Issue

Far-right-wing Nazi supporters plan to stage a rally in the city center tomorrow, giving voice to their violent, racist views.

The Debate

1. "Frankly, I'm appalled that the government can even consider allowing this travesty to go ahead," says prominent Jewish personality @@RANDOMNAME@@. "We can't let these animals broadcast their message of hate. Surely @@NAME@@ is too civilized for that."

The Results: it is illegal to make racist remarks in public

2. "It's exactly because we're civilized that we must let the demonstration proceed," says free speech campaigner @@RANDOMNAME@@. "We may not like what they have to say, but in this society, people have the right to argue whatever political view they want, no matter how hateful, selfish, or stupid it is."

The Results: the tenet of free speech is held dear

#023: Uranium Deposit Promises To Enrich @@NAME@@

The Issue

Prospecting company Nukes4U has uncovered a large uranium deposit in @@NAME@@'s south-west.

The Debate

1. "This is a terrific find!" claims Nukes4U CEO @@RANDOMNAME@@. "It will provide an enormous stimulus to our economy and create thousands of new jobs. It's win-win! All we need from the government is permission to bulldoze the rainforest that's on top of the deposit."

The Results: the country's famous rainforests are being bulldozed by the mining industry.

2. "You've got to be kidding," says Green politician @@RANDOMNAME@@. "This rainforest is thousands of years old! This country needs more environmental protection, not less. And to destroy the environment in order to mine uranium that then goes into nuclear bombs--well, that really sticks in my craw."

The Results: tourists from around the world come to visit the country's famous rainforests.

3. "There's no need for an either-or decision," says the government's Minister for Mining, Clear-Felling, and the Environment. "We can preserve most of the rainforest and allow mining of a small part. After all, think of all the good that the money from this uranium deposit can bring to @@NAME@@."

The Results: the mining industry is making inroads into environmentally sensitive areas

#024: Budget Time: Accountants Excited

The Issue

It's time for the government to allocate spending for the coming year, and as always, special interest groups are keen to have their say.

The Debate

1. "The state of the education system is, in many areas, simply frightful," says Teachers Union leader @@RANDOMNAME@@. "And even where we are doing well, we could do better. I appeal to the authorities for a substantial boost in funding. Remember, the children are our future."

The Results: a large-scale revitalization of the education system is underway

2. "We won't have a future unless we improve police numbers and rebuild the military," says General @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Oh, it's all well and good to have your fancy education and your nice cars, until some tinpot dictatorship decides to invade. And don't pretend like there aren't any of them in our region. Our number one priority has to be security."

The Results: military spending recently hit a new high

3. "Education is nice, but Health and Social Welfare are more important," says celebrity social worker @@RANDOMNAME@@. "This is where the people who really need government help are: the marginalized of our society. If we don't help them, what kind of a nation are we?"

The Results: a well-funded social safety net protects the unfortunate

4. "Hey, I've got a crazy idea," says noted libertarian and bird-watcher @@RANDOMNAME@@. "How about the government stops taking so much tax from people? Give us a tax cut and we'll buy the things we need ourselves. People need to be weaned off the government teat!"

The Results: citizens are enjoying a recent large cut in taxes

#025: Cloning Research Promises New Breakthrough

The Issue

Scientists using cloned human embryos for research are on the verge of a medical breakthrough.

The Debate

1. "It's really very exciting," says lab head @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Until now, we've kept very quiet, to avoid being targeted by lunatic fringe groups who for some reason think it's wrong to clone human embryos. It's too early to promise anything, but we hope that one day we will have genetic cures for a whole range of debilitating illnesses. I certainly hope the government will support our work."

The Results: scientists regularly clone human beings for research purposes

2. "Well, if you have to be part of a lunatic fringe group to object to this barbaric practice, I'm a lunatic," says placard-waving protestor @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Of course it would be nice to cure these unnamed diseases, but at what cost? They're messing with the sanctity of human life. It's wrong, and the lab should be shut down immediately."

The Results: genetic researchers have been expelled

#026: Compulsory Organ Harvesting Proposed

The Issue

A group of emergency room doctors has petitioned the government to introduce mandatory organ donations.

The Debate

1. "It's not as crazy as it sounds," says Dr. @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Every day, people die because we don't have the organs to save them. Well, that and widespread under-funding of the health system. But the point is, if the government allowed us to take organs from dead people, we could save hundreds of lives a year. And come on, it's not like dead people need them."

The Results: organ donation is compulsory

2. "You keep your damn hands off my organs!" says alarmed hospital patient @@RANDOMNAME@@. "They are my organs, and I'll do with them what I like. The government has no right to my body."

The Results: organ donation rates are among the lowest in the region

#027: Cash for Colons?

The Issue

Hospitals have requested that they be allowed to pay people for donating blood and other bodily organs, such as kidneys.

The Debate

1. "We remain critically short of blood plasma and various organs," says @@NAME@@ One hospital administrator @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Especially hearts. A good heart is hard to find. But if we were allowed to pay for donations, we'd get more of them and could save more lives. Plus the donor takes home a few hundred @@CURRENCY@@s in compensation. Unless it's a post-mortem donation, of course. In that case we'd pay the family."

The Results: college students make ends meet by selling their kidneys

2. "Great idea," says social commentator @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Except for one thing. You know who's going to be selling their organs? Poor people! They'll be so desperate for money that they'll sell their own kidneys. Well, a kidney. This is just another way for the rich to buy themselves a better life at the expense of the poor. It must be outlawed."

The Results: organ donation rates have hit a new low

#028: Cancer Sufferer Demands Euthanasia Bill

The Issue

Dorothy Terwilliger lies immobilized in a hospital bed, unable to move. She has end-stage cancer, and wishes to end her struggle against death. However, laws prevent her doctors from obeying her wishes.

The Debate

1. Dorothy and her family are campaigning for a "Dying with Dignity" bill, to change this situation. She implores the government to legalize euthanasia.

The Results: euthanasia is legal.

2. "I understand this is a very difficult time for these people," says freelance medical writer @@RANDOMNAME@@. "But the solution is not to let our medical system slide down the slippery slope of killing people in pain. We must cure, not kill. This is not the right time for euthanasia."

The Results: euthanasia is illegal.

3. "I agree, but go further: there is never a right time for euthanasia," says Bishop @@RANDOMNAME@@. "The lives we lead are given to us by the grace of God, and he decides when they end. It is not for us to question God's divine purpose, no matter how odd or screwed-up it may seem."

The Results: euthanasia is illegal

#029: Minorities Demand Representation In TV Soaps

The Issue

@@NAME@@'s TV soaps--famous around the region--have come under fire for their lack of ethnic diversity.

The Debate

1. "Every night my family and I sit down to watch 'The Brash and the Backstabbing'," says @@RANDOMNAME@@. "But where are the Lilliputians like myself? Where are the Bigtopians? The Marche Noirians? People from those cultures can be just as brash and backstabbing, but we never see them on the screen. The government must act to remove this silent apartheid from our TV screens."

The Results: TV shows must meet strict ethnicity quotas.

2. "Those Lilliputians don't know how good they have it," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, spokesperson for the Tasmanians Against Ethnic Stereotyping. "Tasmanians are on television all the time, but always in crude, stereotypical roles. The answer is not to enforce ethnic quotas, but to award government prizes for the positive portrayal of minorities. That'll work better, and be cheaper, too."

The Results: the government awards prizes to television shows featuring stereotype-breaking

3. "The government should do what now?" says TV studio executive @@RANDOMNAME@@. "You've got to be kidding. We make soaps here, not documentaries. I should be able to put whichever characters I want into my shows. Quotas! Government prizes! God save me! Hasn't the government got anything better to do? Why don't they just back off and let society work out these things on its own?"

The Results: the alarmingly racist TV show 'Bigtopians Say the Darndest Things' is a hit.

#030: Auto Industry Struggles Against Foreign Imports

The Issue

Cheap, foreign-made cars are becoming increasingly popular, causing concern in @@NAME@@'s automobile manufacturing industry.

The Debate

1. "Unless this government does something, @@NAME@@ won't have an auto industry for much longer," says auto industry union boss @@RANDOMNAME@@, in a rare public appearance alongside management. "These foreign companies employ people for a few @@CURRENCY@@s a day. The only way to level the playing field is to raise tariffs. The government would make more money, too, so it's win-win."

The Results: punitive tariffs protect local industry.

2. "For once, I agree with my grubby colleague here," says General Chassis CEO @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Although I have to say, tariffs aren't the only answer. A more effective solution would be to abolish minimum wage laws. Now that would level the playing field. And we'd be able to employ more--argh, let go of my throat!"

The Results: there are no minimum wage laws.

3. "I think we need to face facts," says noted economist and chat-show regular @@RANDOMNAME@@. "We live in a global economy now, and automobile manufacturing just isn't @@NAME@@'s strong suit. There's no point taking money from taxpayers in order to line the pockets of a few greedy workers and corrupt managers in a doomed industry. Let the market take its--argh, let go of my throat!"

The Results: all tariffs have been abolished.

#031: Get Efficient, Private Sector Tells Nature

The Issue

A group of prominent business identities has proposed privatizing @@NAME@@'s beaches.

The Debate

1. "Have you been to the beach lately? It's disgusting," says company spokesperson @@RANDOMNAME@@. "There's litter, there's teenagers smoking, and there are people enjoying themselves without paying for it. Let the private sector in on this, and @@NAME@@'s beaches will be the talk of the region! And a nice little earner, too."

The Results: citizens must pay to enjoy NATION's pristine beaches.

2. "Whoa, whoa, we're privatizing beaches now?" says local campaigner @@RANDOMNAME@@. "These are public spaces! All @@NAME@@'s citizens have a right to enjoy them, not just the well-off. Yes, we should improve the quality of our beaches, but handing them over to the money-grabbers is not the right way to do it. The right way to do it is to boost government spending by increasing taxes."

The Results: a government program is underway to revitalize NATION's beaches.

#032: One Wife Is Never Enough, Say Polygamists

The Issue

A small religious group is lobbying the government to allow them to take multiple wives.

The Debate

1. "It's about time we had our religious rights recognized," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, a devout member of a faith that is never made quite clear. "Who is the government to tell me I can't love more than one woman? The government doesn't know how much of me there is to go around!"

The Results: polygamy is legal

2. "This is nothing more than sexual deviants using religion as a pretext for perversion!" says Reverend @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Marriage is one man, one woman, and death do we part. What's so hard to get? Anything else is a perversion, and must be banned."

The Results: the institution of marriage is held sacred and strictly enforced.

3. "Multiple wives? Excellent!" says passer-by @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Presumably we will allow multiple husbands, as well. And gay marriages, of course. In fact, now is probably the time for the government to butt out of marriage altogether. Let people marry their cats, if they want."

The Results: there have been reports of people marrying housepets.

#033: Genetics Brings New Life to Extinct Species

The Issue

Scientists have announced they are close to a breakthrough in their quest to revive the feather-bellied @@ANIMAL@@, a species related to @@NAME@@'s national animal that has been extinct for more than a century.

The Debate

1. "I, for one, applaud their work," says scientist @@RANDOMNAME@@. "And not just because I'm the project leader. This is an example of how @@NAME@@'s brains can mix it with the world's best. Can you imagine how wonderful it will be to have feather-bellied @@ANIMAL@@s frolicking in the meadows again? I say full steam ahead, and more government funding!"

The Results: scientists recently cloned the long-extinct feather-bellied ANIMAL.

2. "This is a sacrilege!", says religious leader @@RANDOMNAME@@. "These animals are extinct because God wants them dead. Cloning them would merely incur his wrath! If we proceed down this path, it'll be humans, not the feather-bellied @@ANIMAL@@, who will be extinct."

The Results: genetic research has been halted.

3. "Now, come on," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, well-known philosopher. "You don't need to be religious to be unnerved by the top of this particular slippery slope. Today it's @@ANIMAL@@s, tomorrow it's dinosaurs, and we all know how that turns out. This research shouldn't be banned, but there must be strict government controls over its use."

The Results: genetic research is temporarily tied up in government red tape.

#034: Don't Puff On Me, Say Non-Smokers

The Issue

There is a growing call within @@NAME@@ to abolish smoking in public areas.

The Debate

1. "I'm in full support of this motion," says man on the street @@RANDOMNAME@@. "I'm sick of being stuck behind smokers, sucking in their pollution! They can light up in the privacy of their own homes, if they want."

The Results: Smoking is banned in public areas

2. "What's so special about their homes?" says anti-smoking campaigner @@RANDOMNAME@@. "The government has a responsibility to stop people from hurting themselves -- it's the same reason we should make them wear seat belts in cars. Sooner or later, they end up in one of @@NAME@@'s hospitals, sucking on taxpayer-funded healthcare. Not that that's why we should ban smoking. We should ban it because we care."

The Results: an underground movement of cigarette smokers has sprung up in response to a

3. "Get your hands off my fag!" wheezes long-time smoker @@RANDOMNAME@@. "I've been smoking for fifty years and it's never done me any harm. Helps me concentrate, it does! The government should back off on trying to tell me what I can put into my own body. Telling a smoker he can't light up in a restaurant is discrimination, pure and simple. If you want to put a stop to unfairness, stop that."

The Results: eight year-olds can be seen lighting up in public areas.

#035: Refugees Want To Call @@NAME@@ Home

The Issue

After several bloody conflicts in nearby regions, a stream of asylum-seekers and refugees has been spotted heading for @@NAME@@'s shores.

The Debate

1. "Some of these people have endured terrible hardships to reach our borders," says International Red Cross spokesperson @@RANDOMNAME@@. "We must welcome these unfortunates with open arms. Let the world see that @@NAME@@ does not turn its back on those in need!"

The Results: the nation has opened its arms to an influx of refugees.

2. "These grasping freeloaders will swamp our culture and traditions!" argues talk-radio host @@RANDOMNAME@@. "First they want welfare, next thing you know they're taking our jobs -- and you know they won't bother to learn our language. I say charity begins at home -- and this isn't their home. This is the world's problem, not ours."

The Results: the Navy has outraged the international community by sinking a boatload of refugees to prevent them reaching the shore.

3. Economics Professor @@RANDOMNAME@@ offers an alternative. "There is no question that we have to help those who reach out to us in their darkest hour. But on the other hand, we cannot help everybody. So let's just take the ones who are willing to keep our streets clean and our drains flowing in return for a subsistence wage."

The Results: shanty towns are forming in the suburbs of major cities.

#036: International Community Comes Doorknocking

The Issue

The international community has appealed to @@NAME@@ to increase humanitarian aid to the world's poorer nations.

The Debate

1. "We must increase foreign aid," says beaded local peace activist @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Compared to some of these nations, @@NAME@@ is swimming in @@CURRENCY@@s. Let's face it, not every nation in the world is lucky enough to have a government like ours. Let's show some compassion to our less economically gifted neighbors."

The Results: the nation has an international reputation for compassion.

2. "Talk about a way to flush @@CURRENCY@@s straight down the toilet," argues Think Tank member @@RANDOMNAME@@. "What I've noticed is that whenever we do give something, it's never enough: a few years later they're back asking for more. The best way to help these poor nations is to stop shielding them from the logical consequences of their idiotic, long-debunked socialist economic policies."

The Results: the nation refuses to provide international aid.

3. "Relief wouldn't hurt us... if we 'relieved' the right countries," suggests government advisor @@RANDOMNAME@@. "We give them a little humanitarian aid, they give us access to their @@MAJORINDUSTRY@@ markets... it's win-win. Nothing wrong with a little quid pro quo, especially for a good cause."

The Results: the government extracts trade concessions from poor nations in exchange for humanitarian aid.

#037: Traffic Cops Needed on Information Superhighway?

The Issue

Certain shadowy ministerial figures have proposed government monitoring of individual internet usage.

The Debate

1. "In these days of terror and uncertainty, it's exactly what we need," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, signing an arrest warrant. "Every pervert, terrorist, bomb-building maniac and anti-government idiot is currently online. I'm not saying that we should block citizens from seeing it, but let's also watch who's seeking it out. This will give our law enforcement officers the chance to prevent crimes before they happen. If you've done nothing wrong, you've got nothing to hide."

The Results: the government snoops on private internet connections.

2. "Well, I AM saying we should block out that filth," says a man in a dark hat, stepping from the shadows. "If people want to use the internet, they can view our government-approved sites. Those are swell."

The Results: the country has unplugged its internet connection to prevent subversive content.

3. Privacy activist @@RANDOMNAME@@ is outraged, as usual. "Tyranny is the natural result of limiting information! Someone, somewhere, will always find something offensive -- mimes for example. Those scare the hell out of me. But should we ban them? No! Free the internet! We have nothing to fear from free information but pop-up advertising!"

The Results: anti-government web sites are springing up.

#038: @@NAME@@ Looks to the Stars

The Issue

The recent popularity of a science-fiction TV show has prompted calls for @@NAME@@ to develop its own space program.

The Debate

1. "Don't tell me space colonies wouldn't be cool," says excited fifth-grade teacher @@RANDOMNAME@@, still wearing big Spock ears from his last convention. "Think of how they would galvanize the national population! And there would also be some kind of scientific benefit, probably."

The Results: billions of CURRENCY are being poured into a space program.

2. "The project certainly is feasible, but very expensive," says @@NAME@@ Space Agency Head @@RANDOMNAME@@. "We could make it less of a burden on the taxpayers if we sought funding from private industry -- advertisements on the side of our rockets, selling contracts to the Arms Manufacturing industry, that kind of thing."

The Results: the nation's first space rocket -- sponsored by Pepsi and shaped like an enormous soda bottle -- is being developed.

3. "If God had meant Man to fly, he would have given us solid rocket boosters instead of legs," says religious type @@RANDOMNAME@@. "We should not be looking to the stars, but rather inside our own hearts. That's why we should abandon this so-called space program, and instead make the teaching of religion mandatory in all schools."

The Results: religious classes are compulsory for all school students

#039: Scandal Rocks @@NAME@@'s Government!

The Issue

A tabloid magazine, The National Incriminator, has revealed the sordid details of an affair between one of your top advisors, Robert Lotsalovin, and his secretary.

The Debate

1. "They found out I did WHAT?!" Advisor Lotsalovin says in his morning meeting in your office. "This just can't happen! How can government officials do their jobs properly if we have to work under the constant scrutiny of these idiotic supermarket tabloids? I say tabloid newspapers must be banned, and we must not allow newspapers to speak ill of our government officials... for the good of @@NAME@@, of course..."

The Results: newspapers may not print any negative stories about the government.

2. "Unbelievable!" says Reverend @@RANDOMNAME@@ of the local Catholic church. "Our government officials must be held to a higher standard than this! Mr. Lotsalovin must be removed from office and jailed. We cannot allow such disgusting corruption within the halls of justice!"

The Results: government officials are held to the highest standard of morality.

3. "Whoa, whoa, hey, now..." argues Senator @@RANDOMNAME@@. "What happened to Mr. Lotsalovin is no different than affairs that happen all over @@NAME@@ every day! Before you know it, they'll be after YOUR sexual history! I think what we need to do is take the public attention off of it somehow, perhaps by... oh, I don't know... giving them a tax cut! That'll divert their attention from this momentary distraction just long enough for Mr. Lotsalovin's divorce process to end!"

The Results: government officials frequently cut taxes as a distraction from antics with their secretaries.